if all the snowflakes were candy bars & milkshakes.

i make a list of my favorite words. some may say it's tacky, but it's something important to me. i only pick words that have a meaning beyond their definition, that strike me somewhere i can't even recognize. one of these words is "snow." it's a magical word. it creates visions in the minds of children about a far away place with a man in a big red suit, little elves, and so many presents their hearts could explode; it creates visions of multiple car pileups on the expressway to worrisome parents and commuters who sit in those lines of traffic thinking about the slush and the amount of shoveling awaiting them at home. two completely opposite meanings and one simple word. the past couple of days, new york has been experiencing its fair share of snowfall, which the 5 year old in me loves of course. but on top of that, it was the perfect snowfall, the kind that's light and powdery but strong enough to build a snowman with; the kind that falls ever so eloquently coating front lawns and trees to look like picturesque photos in glossy magazines. the best part is the very beginning of a snowfall when you stand outside, look up at the sky struggling to keep your eyes open, stick out your tongue and catch the little flakes all while spinning madly around in circles. that fresh smell of frosted water opens all five senses and suddenly, it's ok for parents to be laying beside their children making snow angels. this is why i love the snow. i love that my little home on long island is coated with the perfect snowfall and i am safe inside my own little snowglobe.

change of plans.

we all come to points in our lives that cause us to wreck our brains to come up with the "right" answer. these crossroads are supposed to be what help turn us into who we are meant to become - whatever that means. well, i think i'm at one of those crossroads. i know it's not smart, but i think i'm going to take this semester off. yes every college kid dreams of taking a year off and going abroad with a giant camouflage backpack, living in hostels, and smoking pot out in public in amsterdam, but this is not exactly what i mean by taking a semester off. i just feel lost - i transferred to fordham last spring from BU and everything fell apart academically (mentally i was totally back to normal.) they wouldn't take BU classes and BU didn't have a core and now i'm behind in classes i can't register myself for because i'm a junior and not a freshman so why would i be trying to register for a 100-level course and blah blah blah. basically, i'm getting bumped out of classes i need to take that are conflicting with classes i have to take for my major all while dealing with the union scholarship and two parents who think college is the shit - of course, neither of them went to college so it really must be this perfect haven in their minds. but to me.. it's not! it's the exact opposite. i sit in boring classes fulfilling requirements - who made up those requirements by the way? what english/creative writing major needs to take FIVE SEMESTERS of SPANISH!?!? it's ludicrous.

whoa, way off tangent. back to my life changing decision that will probably seem so trivial when i'm approaching my midlife crisis: do i take the semester off and "find myself" or do i suck it up and deal with classes. don't get me wrong, i love school - meeting new people and new professors, learning, textbooks, the whole shebang. i just, i don't know, i'm not feeling it right now? does that make any sense?

maybe i'll take a semester off and write the next great american novel and then in spring 2010 they'll be teaching ME in my own class! genius.

phresh start.

a new year means new beginnings. we can all finally let go of the mistakes of 2008 - the drunken hook-ups, the parking tickets, the fake friendships that got us through the holidays. i didn't make a new year's resolution this year because nobody ever keeps them. they're just like some made up tradition someone thought would be a good idea, but totally wasn't. actually, i guess you could say i have a resolution - but it's not for the new year; it's for the every day: to stop letting life get in the way of dreams. i really over analyze everything from what color i should paint my nails to what major i should declare - you know, red polish chips easily and is very noticeable and journalism isn't really going to make me any money but here i am typing away on my macbook with my chipped red nails - oh the irony. i want to stop thinking so much. i think thinking so much takes the fun out of things, takes the element of surprise away, and dries up the spontaneity. so, hopefully i'll succeed.. here's hoping.

anyway, my advice for this great 2009 is to do something for yourself. keep in mind that this is the first and last 2009, this is the be all and end all of 2009's anybody will ever witness! alright, so you don't have to get that in depth, but seriously, it is pretty awesome to think that we get to live this amazing year that will end in 365 days and never exist again. remember that you are the most important person in the world - honestly. without you, life would be less interesting.