bikini season.

i feel like a lot of people are obsessed with being skinny-minnies to the point where it's just plain old not healthy anymore. yes we are america - the land of fast food and free refills, but it shouldn't be so horrendous to your health. eat smaller portions, swap soda for water and cookies for fruits. seriously, it's not all that bad. and don't always be looking at hollywood for your role models - because that's well, hollywood - the land of air brush and plastic surgery. be proud of being a plain jane. there is nothing wrong with your size! the only reason people should be worried about their weight should be their health. it's absolutely ridiculous for tweens and teens to be talking about wanting to see their ribs in their bikinis! and women of all ages are battling size 8 and size 10 jeans for what?! if your proportions don't match up exactly to that of those model standards, so what. love your curves, embrace them, wear flattering clothes. it is not hard to work with your body type, but you should get to know your body type before you self-destruct in an attempt to fit into a size 2 skinny jean that a 12 year old probably can't fit into. don't let the media feed you bad press about your size, love yourself for you who are - big bones, curvy hips, and all.

filler, baby.

i just drove down ocean parkway blasting 'your favorite weapon' from my speakers and singing at the top of my lungs - and it was the greatest feeling ever. it's liberating, you know, singing your heart out to emptiness, to nobody, to the night sky and the cool air. it frees the mind. i immediately felt relieved, like nothing could bring me down. for the duration of 12 amazing tracks i was a rockstar. i drove through an intense fog and the only thing that kept me grounded in reality was the smell of the ocean, almost thick with low tide - you know, when you can taste the jellyfish in your mouth if you breathe in really deep. this is what home is to me - a three lane highway leading to a lighted monument that symbolizes the beaches of southern new york, the smells of summer wafting in through air conditioning vents even though it's still cold enough to leave the dial in the heat section, and good old long island bred brand new.

words to govern by.

as long as war is regarded as wicked,
it will always have its fascination.
when it is looked upon as vulgar,
it will cease to be popular.
Oscar Wilde

AUSTRALIA

so, i am finally living up to my own expectations and traveling! i leave for australia on april 27 for three weeks! three magnificent weeks of traveling around, seeing the sights, swimming the other oceans, and saying g'day mate. i cannot wait! experiencing life outside the box, living the way the other half lives - you know, always in the sun, surfing and sand boarding, seeing koalas and kangaroos like it's no big deal. hahaha! how incredible! a totally different way of living. i will be flying into sydney, going to perth to see the fam, adelaide, kangaroo island (!), back to sydney for monica's 21st birthday extravaganza, then to surf camp (!), brisbane, surfer's paradise, newcastle, and back to sydney to fly home. i'm still in shock that i just booked the flights, that i said screw the money, and am finally doing something i want to do when i want to do it. taking the semester off school was the greatest decision i've ever made. it put my life totally in perspective, allowed me to make some extra money, see countries and continents i maybe never would have seen, and really appreciate school. i will of course be going back in september, then hopefully going abroad myself next spring! then i will be a college graduate, entering this pitiful economy on my own, but at least i'll have some amazing stories!

a little girl.

once upon a time, there was a little girl. her entire world revolved around her family - a big irish family. at the head of that family was her grandmother. nan as she was referred to was the brick, the cornerstone, the foundation. this little girl looked up to her nan as if she were a celebrity walking the red carpet in a dior gown with harry winston jewels. nan told the best stories - whether it was in her living room with the fireplace blazing or on the edge of the sea, all the elements of the world seemed to listen in to her stories; she had the attention of all - even god. her ghost stories kept the little girl awake all night, and her comedies kept her laughing for hours. nan's house always smelled like a fresh bakery. she was constantly piercing pie crusts with forks and molding scones with her wrinkled hands. the little girl and all her cousins would pile into the tiny kitchen in the little white irish cottage and hold out their hands for the best goods. a little piece of heaven went into nan and came out in everything she baked. well, the little girl grew up, and as all things do - nan's life came to an end. her stories are echoing off the east coast of the united states, 3,000 miles away from where they began, on the west coast of ireland. she can be found in the creases in the corners of the little girl's eyes, in her working hands, and in her heart. the bakery is no longer open, but the memory of the smell is something she wakes up to every morning. she knows her nan is telling the same stories and keeping her new audience well fed in the freshest of fields with the ocean roaring out her front window. the little girl, all grown up, can only hope her stories will be as remembered and honored - that little girl, is me.