love?

what happened to the days when people got together and stayed together? when money wasn't everything? when love reigned? what happened to the days when divorce wasn't an option? when "for better or for worse" actually stood? what went wrong?

the greatest love stories that we spend our lives reading are centered around characters who fall in love by overcoming obstacles and problems and society to simply be together. now, it's questionable if there is a possible genuine love story - i mean one spanning years, decades, and never failing.

what's happening?

my own wonderland.

“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

promise?

she looked at him with eyes larger than the sun filling up with tears that were beyond her control. she asked one simple word: "promise?"

"i can't."

and it was enough.

"it's my favorite thing in the world," she said. "someone who doesn't break their promises."

so she searched, for the one who would prove her wrong, prove that it is possible to make a promise, mean it with everything in you, and keep it forever.

100 songs for a broken heart

i'm compiling a list of 100 songs for a broken heart. i can't guarantee they will make you feel better about your present situation, but hearing sad songs makes us remember we're not alone. the greatest artists and poets and songwriters have their motivation from broken hearts, cheating boyfriends, and crushed dreams. we are not alone. you're not human until you've suffered the broken heart. so my 100 songs for a broken heart will be posted as soon as it's done, but until then, if you have any suggestions - send them my way!

cbmackin@gmail.com

even broken hearts mend over time

can't explain it.

it's two o' clock and i was sleeping, but i'm not feeling great.

i took some pills to help my thinking, but now i'm thinking worse.

well i was hoping that i could see you; if that's not too absurd.

am i in love? or am i dreaming?

cause i'm not sensibly just taken by your words; for once i found a cure.

i'm sick of staying up late, because you're not here, and i'm not there.

no, i'm not afraid to watch you change me,

i'm not afraid to watch you change me anymore.

you need to know what you're into;

i'll tell you i'm a god damn piece of work.

so i'll just sit here until you enter my arms -

cause that's the simpleness of where i lay my head.

i'm a wreck when i'm alone, i'm the [girl] who lost [her] home

and i'm sensibly just taken by your words;

for once i found a cure.

i'm sick of staying up late,

cause you're not here, and i'm not there.

no, i'm not afraid to watch you change me.

i'm not afraid to watch you change me anymore.

i took the key bridge north to your parent's house again.

i saw my share of lights from the sky outside the city.

i brought you things i loved just to show you that i cared.

i found a place to lay inside of the warmth.

that's the way that i spent these last few days of writing all these songs.

i swear to god that i love you, cause i can't explain it.

:the dangerous summer